Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I wish I could send this to randomladyintheshoedeptthatdecidessheneedstoshowmehowtoparent.

So...a day after the Kohl's barbie advocate said I listen to too much "propaganda" The Resurgence posted this:

http://theresurgence.com/2011/05/11/11-ways-to-protect-your-daughter-from-barbie?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheResurgence+%28The+Resurgence%29

11 Ways to Protect Your Daughter From Barbie
Justin Holcomb » Family Children Worldviews Health Body Nutrition Gospel


American pop-culture has a rich diversity of icons, such as Apple’s Apple, Disney’s Mouse, McDonald’s Arches, Nike’s Swoosh, and Barbie, “the icon, the image, the ideal.”

"Girl Power"
Barbie’s maker and marketer, Mattel, bills the doll as a symbol of “girl power” showing that Barbie can go to college, explore the universe as an astronaut, enjoy the thrill of motherhood, and run the country as President. But, there are some deeper consequences with Barbie.

"Barbie is small and so petite. Her clothes and figure look so neat…. Some day I'm going to be exactly like you. Until then I know just what I'll do. I'll make believe I'm you." Shockingly, these words belong to the first Barbie jingle when she made her debut on March 9, 1959.



Don't Eat
If Barbie’s 11.5 inch body were translated into a full-size frame at her original proportions, she would be 5’9” and have measurements of approximately 36 inches (bust), 18 inches (waist), and 33 inches (hips). She’d have to walk on all fours. Critics argue that this encourages young girls to hope to achieve an unrealistic, unhealthy body shape.

In 1965 “Slumber Party” Barbie came with a book entitled “How to Lose Weight,” which advised “Don't eat.” 

The doll also came with pink bathroom scales reading 110lb. This would be at least 35lbs underweight for a woman her height.



An Instrument of Shame
Barbie’s unreasonable figure conditions girls to have a misguided perception of the ideal woman’s body. The constant marketing of these ideals aimed for our little girls, through Barbie and tons of other pop-culture products, explains their attempts at conformity to an impossible standard. Perhaps this is why 80% of 10-year old girls now diet to control their weight.


They feel like failures when they look at a Barbie and can’t measure up.

Rather than being a healthy icon, Barbie stands out as an early instrument of shame in little girls’ lives. They feel like failures when they look at a Barbie and can’t measure up. That’s the opposite of what any parents wants for their little girl.



The Point
But ranting about Barbie is not the point. And we're not advocating a militantly anti-Barbie campaign. Most little girls play with Barbies growing up and doing so isn't going to destroy their adult lives. But ideas can be subtle. And they have consequences. And the ideal behind Barbie is just one example of the many things that can attack a girl’s identity and self-image.


The girls entrusted to us by God need to hear that through faith in Christ they are adopted into God’s family.

My point is to direct your attention to the desperate need for the application of the gospel to the young girls in our lives. This issue of identity is a significant part of the distorted self-image our culture bestows to girls. Cultural forces and marketing campaigns preach a cruel, harmful message of image and identity to young girls.



Demonstrating Love
But as loud and dominant these voices are, parents can have a louder voice. We possess the opportunity to demonstrate our love and dedication to the girls God has placed in our lives. But what does this look like? Here are 11 things parents can do to demonstrate their love:*



Dads, don’t underestimate your influence on your daughters. Tell them they are beautiful before the culture convinces them otherwise.
Moms, be aware of any distorted body image struggles, because your daughter learns lots about how to think about her body from you.
Protect them as much as possible from exposure to content that is harmful.
Learn about the media and pop-culture in your child’s life.
Get beyond the “Just Say No” approach to culture.
Make age-appropriate conversations an essential part of your relationship with your child.
Encourage children to use art, play, and writing to process the images and other media messages they see.
Counter the narrow stereotype of both boys and girls that are prevalent in media and commercial culture.
Share your values and concerns with other caring adults—your friends, and relatives and the parents of your children’s friends.
Help them learn how to interpret and engage what they see and read in culture.
Love them unconditionally. See them as a gift.


Daughters of God
The girls entrusted to us by God need to hear that through faith in Christ they are adopted into God’s family. They are given the most amazing identity: daughter of God (1 John 3:1–2). God adopted them and accepted them because he loves them. They didn’t do and can’t do anything to deserve his love. He loved them even and especially when they were unlovable and feel unloveable.



*Some of these are adapted from chapter 5, “Helping Children Through the Minefields,” of So Sexy So Soon, by Diane E. Levin and Jean Kilbourne.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

llama drama

Tallulah is arguing with me about llamas (Sophia just got a "Llama llama" stuffed animal). She says it is a dog called llama. I showed her pictures of llamas. I told her "no, it's not a dog, it is a llama, like a camel or a sheep or a cow, it is a LLAMA" "NO mom! May I please call Llama a dog. May I?!" She DID make the argument that "it has a wiggly tail, so it must be a dog." She has a point.

Kohl's lady and Barbie vs. me

So I was just at Kohl's and Tallulah was asking why I won't buy her Barbie undies and I said "Tallulah, quit asking about Barbie, I will not buy you anything that has to do with Barbie, I don't like what she stands for or anything about her...you can have the Disney princesses though..." and she was okay. Then some lurking older lady in the shoe dept stepped out in front of me and said
"You have been listening to too much propaganda... (muffled)".
I didn't quite understand what she was saying until I walked past, then I turned and said
"ya, or you can mind your own business and raise YOUR own children. (calmly)"

Who are these people that think they should tell a COMPLETE stranger how to influence their children, and for a more WORLDLY upbringing?! ugh!

It is fine if YOU want to raise your ladies with Barbies, my family prefers not to, and I feel that is what God had put on our hearts.

Monday, May 9, 2011

mother's day

Children.
I have two. Two ladies.
I love them more than I could ever describe.
Because of them I realize how much I love my mama= more than words. I hope my girls eventually love me as a much as I love my mom. Like, seriously, I CAN'T live without her. I know God will prepare me when that dreaded time comes, but right now (this is how I know she won't be taken from me yet) I need her in every way. She IS everything I need her to be, other than my Savior...who she continually points me to.

My grandma hasn't been doing well and it breaks my heart, a little cause she is MY grandma, but mostly because it is my mom's mama. How heart breaking for her to be losing HER mama! I know this is all part of the circle of life, but SHE is losing HER mama. God gives peace and carries our burdens, I just empathize for her. I have been getting all teary and emotional lately, because of all this, and maybe because I am 30. I think God is softening me. Breaking down these tough walls of protection and pride. He has shown me (again) how unkind I had been to my mom in the past...bad attitude, selfish, prideful, resentful, hurtful...just because I could?! Because she was my mom?! and not just as a teenager, but in my early 20's when I was already married.

My mother deserves respect and gentleness, kindness, understanding, patience, love...humility from me. She deserves to hear (even if it makes me feel vulnerable) how much she is valued...ALL THE TIME! She has LIVED out The definition of LOVE. God's LOVE. She is amazing. A complete "gift of God" (Janet).

When I was a child, everyone would tell me how much I looked and sounded like my mom. I liked it, then as I got to be a teenager, started to not. I didn't want to be "those" things like my mom...the hips, the voice, the womanly-shape, the "crafty" one, the "frugal/resourceful" one, the one who didn't always fit in or do the hip thing, the one who sews, submissive to a husband...

Come to find out= I. am. all. of. those. things. minus the last one (which is the greatest of these= humble and meek, and the hardest for me).

I WANT TO BE LIKE MY MOM.

It would be my HONOR to be like her.


She IS THE Proverbs 31 woman:
"25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."


I just wanted to write these things down. To remember once again, how blessed I have been. I have God's word leading me and my mother's example showing me how to be an amazing mother and wife. I love that she is physically showing me Christ's love...which makes me madly in love with our God and Savior.

I want to be this amazing for my children. Thank you Jesus for making this possible!

This is what God put on my heart to write in her card for Mother's Day:
you are amazing. I love everything about you. everything. I want to be like you. You are THE example of a Proverbs 31 woman. I strive to learn and grow and seek Our God to be meek and gentle and humble and wise like you. Love with no end. I can't do life without you mama. God has been gracious to me.



and Daddy...just you wait...I have something to say about YOU too! I am saving it for June ;)

Best. mom. ever.
The end.