mother's day

Children.
I have two. Two ladies.
I love them more than I could ever describe.
Because of them I realize how much I love my mama= more than words. I hope my girls eventually love me as a much as I love my mom. Like, seriously, I CAN'T live without her. I know God will prepare me when that dreaded time comes, but right now (this is how I know she won't be taken from me yet) I need her in every way. She IS everything I need her to be, other than my Savior...who she continually points me to.

My grandma hasn't been doing well and it breaks my heart, a little cause she is MY grandma, but mostly because it is my mom's mama. How heart breaking for her to be losing HER mama! I know this is all part of the circle of life, but SHE is losing HER mama. God gives peace and carries our burdens, I just empathize for her. I have been getting all teary and emotional lately, because of all this, and maybe because I am 30. I think God is softening me. Breaking down these tough walls of protection and pride. He has shown me (again) how unkind I had been to my mom in the past...bad attitude, selfish, prideful, resentful, hurtful...just because I could?! Because she was my mom?! and not just as a teenager, but in my early 20's when I was already married.

My mother deserves respect and gentleness, kindness, understanding, patience, love...humility from me. She deserves to hear (even if it makes me feel vulnerable) how much she is valued...ALL THE TIME! She has LIVED out The definition of LOVE. God's LOVE. She is amazing. A complete "gift of God" (Janet).

When I was a child, everyone would tell me how much I looked and sounded like my mom. I liked it, then as I got to be a teenager, started to not. I didn't want to be "those" things like my mom...the hips, the voice, the womanly-shape, the "crafty" one, the "frugal/resourceful" one, the one who didn't always fit in or do the hip thing, the one who sews, submissive to a husband...

Come to find out= I. am. all. of. those. things. minus the last one (which is the greatest of these= humble and meek, and the hardest for me).

I WANT TO BE LIKE MY MOM.

It would be my HONOR to be like her.

She IS THE Proverbs 31 woman:

"25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

I just wanted to write these things down. To remember once again, how blessed I have been. I have God's word leading me and my mother's example showing me how to be an amazing mother and wife. I love that she is physically showing me Christ's love...which makes me madly in love with our God and Savior.

I want to be this amazing for my children. Thank you Jesus for making this possible!

This is what God put on my heart to write in her card for Mother's Day:

you are amazing. I love everything about you. everything. I want to be like you. You are THE example of a Proverbs 31 woman. I strive to learn and grow and seek Our God to be meek and gentle and humble and wise like you. Love with no end. I can't do life without you mama. God has been gracious to me.

and Daddy...just you wait...I have something to say about YOU too! I am saving it for June ;)

Best. mom. ever.
The end.